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Latest Reports

Jerma985
BREAKING: Jerma985 Dies Peacefully in Bed
May 21, 2025 • By CrustavNews

YouTube star Jerma985 has reportedly passed away peacefully, leaving fans stunned and confused.

James Draws Stuff
James Draws Stuff Found Dead in The Bronx
May 22, 2025 • By CrustavNews

Shocking news as cartoonist James Draws Stuff is reportedly found deceased in a Bronx alley.

Punkinob
Punkinob Caught Kidnapping with Cash-on-a-String
May 22, 2025 • By CrustavNews

Punkinob reportedly lured children using money on string. Local authorities are baffled.

Brain Ooze
Brain Ooze Laced? 33 Dead
May 22, 2025 • By CrustavNews

The PVZ soda is under fire after reports of fatalities linked to its secret ingredient.

Vinko Bovlic
Vinko Bovlic Sues Elon Over Crypto Scam
May 23, 2032 • By CrustavNews

The author of “Snapping Good” claims Musk used his character “Gurt” for fraudulent marketing.

Doofenshmirtz
Study: Doofenshmirtz caught Lobbing poop at Homeless people in Danville
May 23, 2025 • By CrustavNews

Heinz D. Doofenshmirtz from The Tri-State area, known as Danville has had his hands scrubbed clean of Feces, and is awaiting trial for throwing poop at the homeless.

Doofenshmirtz
Toyota filed for Bankruptcy due to a Fan realizing they used Wet Feces to slow down their cars, making the price not worth it.
May 23, 2025 • By CrustavNews

Toyota has filed for Bankruptcy due to a Fan realizing they used Wet Feces to slow down their cars, making the price not worth it.

Poop
Study: Poop May Not Come from Your Butt
May 20, 2025 • By CrustavNews

Contrary to popular belief, a new theory suggests it may be originating from the brain.